Back to School (But Make It Homeschool): Part 1
What About Socialization? The Truth About Homeschool Friendships
There are two questions we hear the most when we say we homeschool:
"Wait… don't both of you work?" and "But how do your kids get socialized?"
Let's be real: that second question held us back from homeschooling for years. We worried that homeschooling would make our kids lonely, awkward, or somehow less prepared for the "real world." And I get it. When most people think of school, they picture recess, cafeteria chatter, group projects… socialization just seems built in.
But here's the hard truth I wish I had understood sooner: It's not the school building that builds friendships. It's the people—and the effort to build a life around community.
(Also, can we talk about how "socialization" has become the buzzword that makes every homeschool parent's eye twitch? Like, Karen, my kid talked to the grocery store cashier, helped an elderly neighbor with her groceries, and taught a younger child how to tie shoes this week. But sure, tell me more about how sitting in rows for six hours is superior social training.)
So… Will My Child Be Socialized If I Homeschool?
Yes. And, in many cases? Even more so.
But it doesn't happen by accident—and honestly, neither does socialization in traditional school. Just like if your child were in public school, you—the parent—play a huge role in supporting their social development. Being in a classroom with 20+ kids doesn't guarantee close friendships. You still need to help your child find their people, learn how to navigate different social situations, and build meaningful connections.
The research backs this up beautifully. Recent studies have concluded that homeschooled children, in general, can be considered well-socialized by any objective standards. In fact, according to the National Home Education Research Institute, the average homeschool child participates in 5.2 extracurricular activities per week.
That's a lot of interaction—often with kids from diverse backgrounds and mixed age groups, more representative of how we function in real adult life. (When's the last time you worked exclusively with people born in the same year as you? Yeah, me neither.)
What Socialization Looks Like for Our Family
Let me give you a peek into a typical week—because apparently, I need to justify that my children interact with other humans:
🌲 Co-op and forest school (where my Waldorf-leaning kiddo thrives in nature-based learning)
🎻 Group cello & private lessons (because nothing says "life skills for children" like learning to tune an instrument while your sibling practices violin in the next room)
🩰 Ballet & tap (the one activity that somehow always results in grass stains on leotards)
🤸♀️ Gymnastics (where my more Montessori-minded child loves the self-directed skill progression)
🤺 Fencing (yes, really—and before you ask, no, it's not just because I wanted to say "my child knows how to fence")
⚽️ Summer soccer league (the bane of my existence but the joy of theirs)
🎭 Fall & spring theater productions (future-ready learning disguised as drama class)
🎉 Birthday parties and weekend playdates (because homeschool kids still eat too much cake and get overstimulated at Chuck E. Cheese)
🧺 Weekday field trips with homeschool friends (museum crowds are so much better on Tuesday mornings, just saying)
And that's not counting spontaneous backyard science experiments, mud kitchen cafés, or midweek museum outings. You know, those magical moments when your child asks why bubbles are round while you're trying to get dinner started, and suddenly you're all outside with dish soap and straws having an impromptu physics lesson.
The truth is, while we homeschool, we're rarely home. Our kids are surrounded by peers all week long. From every educational path, not just homeschoolers. And we've built a beautiful rhythm of connection, play, and yes, even birthday parties.
Why Mixed-Age Learning Actually Might Be Better
One of the most unexpected gifts of homeschooling? My kids have deeper, more diverse friendships now than they ever did in preschool or daycare. They connect with kids older and younger, with different passions, backgrounds, and temperaments.
This aligns perfectly with both Waldorf and Montessori philosophies, which emphasize multi-age groupings that foster peer learning. My Waldorf-inspired child loves the storytelling and creative collaboration that happens when 6-year-olds and 10-year-olds build fairy houses together. Meanwhile, my more Montessori-leaning kiddo thrives on the independent work and peer mentoring that mixed-age groups naturally create.
These friendships aren't grouped by birth year—they're built around shared interests: music, theater, nature, chess, tree climbing, fairy gardens, you name it. They're more flexible, more intentional, and more often rooted in real-life social situations where they can practice collaboration, conflict resolution, and empathy.
(Plus, let's be honest—when your 7-year-old is teaching a 5-year-old how to properly hold a cello bow, that's leadership development you can't get from a worksheet.)
And here's a bonus I didn't expect:
🧺 I've made some of my best mom friends through these homeschool groups, too. The kind who show up with sunscreen, snacks, and moral support when someone's having a rough day. The kind who understand that "we're studying marine biology" really means "we spent three hours at the beach collecting shells and now there's sand in my car forever."
What It Comes Down To
If you're holding back from homeschooling because of the socialization question, I hear you. It's a valid concern—but one that's often rooted in outdated stereotypes, not real-life homeschool experiences.
The reality is this: You absolutely can raise social, well-adjusted, community-connected kids while homeschooling. They'll join extracurriculars, build rich friendships, and find their crew—and so will you. It just takes a little planning, a little creativity, and a willingness to get out of the house. (Don't worry, the laundry will wait. It always does.)
Whether you lean toward Waldorf homeschool methods with their emphasis on imagination and nature-based learning, or prefer Montessori homeschool approaches with their focus on independence and self-directed exploration, both philosophies actually support deeper socialization through mixed-age learning environments and real-world skill development.
The key is understanding that life skills for children develop through authentic relationships and meaningful activities—not through artificial age segregation and standardized social experiences.
What's Next in This Series
Coming up in Part 2: "But I'm Not a Teacher—Can I Really Do This?" We'll talk through how to actually teach your child (without needing a teaching degree or a color-coded chart that gives you heart palpitations). Spoiler: you've been teaching them since birth, and you're probably better at it than you think.
Part 3 will dive into: "But What About Academics?" Double spoiler: homeschoolers typically score 15 to 25 percentile points above public-school students on standardized academic achievement tests—and that's just the beginning of why academics might actually be better at home.
📚 Until then, check out:
Creating a Gentle Summer Rhythm That Still Leaves Room for Magic
10 Screen-Free Summer Projects That Teach Real-World Skills
Raising Thinkers: How to Help Kids Solve Problems, Not Just Follow Directions
What's your biggest homeschool socialization concern? Drop it in the comments—I promise to answer without rolling my eyes (much).