Age-Appropriate Chores for Kids
Age-Appropriate Chores for Kids: Building Independence & Life Skills at Every Stage
When I sat down with my coffee recently to reread Joyful Toddlers and Preschoolers by Faith Collins, I found myself underlining the same line over and over: children need purpose.
That struck me hard this time around. With my three-year-old, the constant battles, the whining, the seemingly continuous string of "no" and "you can't make me" started to look like signs of a child craving meaningful ways to contribute to the family.
Cue the whole house organization and rethinking. I began to look around and realize that while we had done a fantastic job empowering our first child to take care of herself, our youngest couldn't even get on the potty without asking for help. To give myself grace for a moment, we did move across the country, so maybe if we had stayed in the same house, we wouldn't have needed to rethink everything.
Step one of age-appropriate chores is ensuring age-appropriate independence. Point blank, your kids won't want to help care for the house if they're still struggling to complete basic care tasks for themselves without help.
We also began to try small chores, after ensuring that she was setup for success in each chore: she now gleefully feeds the dogs (her favorite, and the food and scoop is now kept at her level), insists on wiping the table (with her own pink and purple sparkle wipe accessible at all times), and proudly declares herself the "toy inspector-in-chief," making sure every stuffed friend is tucked in at night.
Meanwhile, our six-year-old is responsible for making her bed, putting away her laundry, and sweeping the dining room. Some days she rolls her eyes; some days she marches through with purpose. And yes — there are days I leave my own laundry sprawled on the floor overnight. (We're real here.) Chores aren't about perfection. They aim to give children a sense of belonging, competence, and purpose over time.
Why Chores Matter (and Why They're Worth the Struggle)
It can be tempting to assign chores just so we, as parents, get help. And. Arguably, even more tempting to stop the chores when it becomes clear that it takes substantially longer now to put the socks away or to wipe the table. However, the more profound truth is this: chores are among the most powerful tools we have to raise capable and resilient humans. The pushback and resistance, the methodical and rigid adherence to following each step in sequential order? They're an essential part of the process.
Self-worth, empathy, and life satisfaction
One of the most frequently cited pieces of evidence comes from long-term studies, such as the one often referred to as the "Harvard study," which you may have seen quoted on social media (sometimes in conjunction with the Harvard Study of Adult Development).
This study supports that when children consistently complete age-appropriate chores, they have better emotional well-being, stronger relationships, and a more consistent work ethic. Even more important, these benefits persist beyond childhood, as evidenced by higher life satisfaction in adulthood among these same children.
Another take from Harvard's Graduate School of Education emphasizes that having children involved in family chores fosters empathy, self-efficacy, responsibility, and confidence.
“Chores offer a window into the unseen work that keeps a household running. As kids help with tasks like setting the table or unloading the dishwasher, they begin to understand the work that goes into managing a household.”
In short, it's not the chore itself that "makes or breaks" a child; it's the consistent message that "you matter, you belong, your work has value."
Executive function, planning, and self-regulation
Chores do more than build character and help a home run smoother; they also train the brain. A 2022 study published in the Australian Occupational Therapy Journal asked: Does engagement in chores predict children's cognitive abilities (specifically executive function)?
What this research found is that in addition to the well-being benefits cited by Harvard, children that engaged in self-care chores (think putting their laundry away, making their own snack) and family care chores (making breakfast for the family) significantly improved impulse control and working memory (how we use information daily)
in other words, tasks such as planning, self-regulation, switching between tasks, and remembering multi-step instructions are all required in real-world chores. All of that adds up to stronger executive function. Which isn't really a surprise when you think about it, is it?
Development, self-regulation, and routine
Beyond all the formal studies, doctors and therapists (especially occupational therapists) often note how chores align with developmental goals such as:
Sequencing (first sweep, then mop)
Self-regulation (staying with a task even when distractions call)
Planning (gathering needed materials before starting)
Independence (gradually fewer prompts from parents)
Self-esteem (I can do hard things)
Organizational skills (ff this goes here, it's easier for me to find next time, as all of the crayons are with the paper)
Responsibility (completing a task)
So the resistance? It's part of the growth. We aren't just doing chores. We're training brains, building habits, and developing character.
Age-Appropriate Chores for Kids
How do you know what chores to introduce when? Well, that really depends on your child's interests and developmental readiness. I've put together a short list of developmentally appropriate chores by age. Start by picking one that your child would enjoy. Then make it fun and do it together. Use chores as a bonus time to connect and slow down together. And, of course, use all of this as a guide, not a hard and fast rule.
Toddlers (2–3 years old)
At this age, the primary goals are belonging and imitation. Give them simple, tangible tasks that let them feel helpful.
Feeding pets or holding a small dish
Wiping the table with a damp cloth
Helping carry napkins or utensils
Putting toys "to bed" (clean-up time)
These chores build the foundation: even if they do a small portion, they internalize the message, "I belong. I can contribute."
Preschool (4–5 years old)
Our preschoolers can now tackle slightly more complex tasks, and these tasks can reinforce the early curricula. Think of tasks that align with counting, sorting, and pattern recognition (hello, "school disguised as life").
Setting the table (counting utensils, matching cups to people)
Sorting laundry by color and weather
Watering or cutting plants
Helping carry groceries (small bags, though you'll be surprised how strong they are!
Packing simple snack containers for themselves
At this stage, chores nurture confidence: "I did that!"
Early Elementary (6–8 years old)
This is when kids can handle more responsibility, often with delight. They often like checking something off or "earning" their place.
Making their bed each morning
Putting clean laundry away
Sweeping floors
Helping with meal prep: stirring, measuring, peeling
Cleaning up after meals (clearing plates)
These tasks help build independence, as they no longer require constant supervision.
Upper Elementary (9–11 years old)
Now, chores shift from "helping" into genuine ownership. This is where we get to really help our kids prepare for life without us (critical at this age). Kids begin to take full responsibility for certain tasks from start to finish.
Managing their laundry end-to-end (wash, dry, fold, put away)
Vacuuming or deeper cleaning tasks
Cooking simple meals (with guidance)
Helping younger siblings with clean-up
Overseeing shared spaces (e.g. hallway, living room)
By this point, kids often feel pride in their competence, and the resistance lessens when they see themselves as contributors.
Teens (12+ years)
By teenage years, chores should be more fluid than fixed. They should be capable of doing any household task confidently. The role becomes less about assigned chores and more about stepping up where needed, to being an integral part of a family team.
Cooking full meals
Deep cleaning (bathrooms, yard, seasonal projects)
Managing household systems (trash, recycling, pet care)
Leadership in family tasks (coordinating chores, helping younger siblings)
At this stage, chores aren't just a "requirement"; they are part of what it means to be a responsible adult-in-training.
The Bigger Picture: Chores as Homeschool Life Skills in Action
One of the gifts of homeschooling is that life itself serves as our curriculum. Chores, in many ways, become the richest lessons we give.
Literacy & reading practice: reading recipe directions, labels, instructions
Math: measuring ingredients, dividing tasks, counting servings
Planning & sequencing: gathering tools, executing steps, cleaning up afterward
Executive function: transitioning between tasks, time management
Responsibility & contribution: understanding that running a home is a shared work
Sometimes the lessons in a messy kitchen or folded laundry teach more than a worksheet ever could.
“When we shift our perspective from chopping carrots = work to chopping carrots = training for real life, chores become a form of living education.”
Encouragement for Parents
Let's normalize two truths:
Some days — many days — kids will balk, resist, or forget.
Some days — many days — I will skip chores or procrastinate too.
That's okay. The goal is not perfection; it's consistency over time, intentionality in leadership, and patience with the process.
Celebrate the small wins. Remind your children (and yourself) that doing chores isn't a punishment, and can, in fact, be quite enjoyable. It's respect: respect for our home, our family, and our shared life. Over time, the repeated message says, "You matter. You can be trusted. Your work has value."
If your child forgets or refuses, gently bring them back to responsibility rather than shame. Encourage, walk alongside, and problem-solve. Model humility when you drop the ball, too.